Chapter 124 

The moment I stepped into the mansion, I didn’t bother going to my room. My legs moved on instinct–heart thrumming, determination tightening with every step. I didn’t knock. I didn’t pause. 

I flung Kaiden’s door open. 

We didn’t see each other much during the day anymore–not with the five–feet distance rule we were practice, tournament prep, and my therapy sessions, my days blurred into routines that left me drained. And Kaiden–he had his own chaos to carry. The only time we ever really got to be together was at night, when we collapsed into bed like war survivors–bruised, tired, and holding on to whatever forced to maintain in public. Between hockey scraps of warmth we could find in each other’s arms. 

Even then, he treaded lightly. 

Too lightly. 

Like I might break if he said the wrong word. I could feel it in every careful sentence he spoke, every hesitation before he touched me–like I wasn’t his girlfriend anymore, but some fragile glass artifact he was terrified of shattering. 

And maybe, I’d let that happen. 

But not tonight. 

Tonight, I’d remind him–and myself–that I wasn’t just a girl surviving trauma. I was his girl. And I wanted him to see me that way again. 

My breath came in ragged bursts as my eyes landed on him. 

Kaiden stood shirtless in front of the punching bag, his body glistening with sweat, muscles flexing as he stilled. His fists were still clenched, but the fire in his eyes–whatever frustration he’d been unloading on that poor bag–flickered out the moment he saw me. It was replaced by something softer. Something only I ever got to see. 

“Hey, babe,” he greeted, that familiar gentle smile curling at his lips. The one he reserved just for me. 

And yet… I couldn’t help but miss his old smirk. The cocky one he wore when he teased me endlessly, made me roll my eyes until I couldn’t stop smiling. That version of him–the one who pulled my pigtails metaphorically and called me ‘introvert‘ just to annoy me–he hadn’t been around in months. 

“I want you to kiss me,” I said as I approched, my voice firm, heart hammering. “Kiss me until I forget my own name.” 

Kaiden blinked, his smile faltering as concern took its place. “Lucy… are you okay?” 

“Sheela said,” I continued without answering him, “that now that we’re in this even more forbidden version of a relationship, the chemistry should be hotter than a volcano.” I stepped closer, every inch of me trembling, but not from fear. “But look at us, Kaiden. Look where we are–trapped in this… glass room of trauma, surrounded by everything I’m trying to forget.” 

His expression crumpled slightly, like he wanted to fix it, wanted to say something–but didn’t know how. 

So I reached for him. 

I cupped his cheek with both hands, grounding myself in the warmth of his skin. “It’s you,” I whispered, my voice shaking as I rose on my toes. “Only you who can bring me back. Not some therapist, Not anyone else.” 

He leaned into my touch instinctively, as if my hands were a magnet and he the metal that had been missing its pull. I gently tugged him downward, closing the distance between us. Our foreheads/met, breaths mingling, hearts knocking like fists on closed doors. 

For three whole months, Kaiden and I had shared the same bed… but never truly slept together. 

Most nights ended with his arms around me–our bodies pressed close, like a makeshift cocoon we hoped would keep the nightmares out. But it didn’t. I would wake up gasping, trembling from memories that refused to stay buried. And just because of that he didn’t sleep properly as well, I would feel him 

Chapter 124 

stir beside me, feel his hand stroke my back, feel his heartbeat shift with mine. 

He never said it aloud—but I knew. 

He was scared. Scared for me. 

And maybe a little scared of what he couldn’t fix. 

Due to that, our conversations had become… clinical. Scripted, even. Like we were reading from some invisible manual on “How to Talk to a Traumatized Girlfriend.” His every word was measured, his every response double–checked in the pause between what I said and what he dared to say 

back. And I hated it. 

Not because he wasn’t trying. 

But because he was. 

Once–just once–Kaiden had kissed my cheek. That single, gentle act sent me spiraling back to that house in the middle of jungle, to the paralyzed sensation of my body, to the aftermath of my unconsciousness, to Barbara’s cold voice. After that… he never tried kissing me again. 

Not once. 

Because every time, even when we tried to just speak our hearts, we’d end up at the same place–me unraveling, and Kaiden dialing Julian, my therapist, with shaking fingers. 

Julian once told me I had already been fighting long before I realized I was at war. That the night Barbara kidnapped me wasn’t the start–it was just the moment the dam cracked. The silence that followed? It had always been there. Quiet, patient. And when it couldn’t be quiet anymore, it turned into suffocating air, trembling hands, and nightmares sharp enough to bleed me from the inside. 

And he was right. The incident with Barbara wasn’t my first traumatic moment, I had multiple before that. I thought I was strong enough to digest all of them, but I wasn’t. Who would’ve thought trauma doesn’t always arrive with a scream, but a silence? 

These whole months, I kept myself busy with tournament training, filling my schedule so tightly there was no space left for the darkness to breathe. And it worked–for a while. 

But now, the tournament was over. And so was the hiding. I can escape from my fear for a while, but not for the lifetime. If I need a happy life ahead, I have to confront my fear, my trauma. 

Kaiden pulled back and cupped my face, his boxing gloves forming a barrier between his skin and mine, just like the lingering fear of my trauma stood between our souls. 

His eyes were the same hazel I first fell for, only now they carried an exhaustion I knew far too well. He was fighting this just as much as I was. 

Something inside me snapped and suddenly, I had this never–had–l–ever kind of nerve to rip off every barrier that stood between us. 

The gloves. The space. The fear. 

I want them all out. I only want him. 

“Can you please kiss me?” I whispered. 

It came out softer than I intended. Not as a demand—but a plea. Desperate. Fragile. Real. 

He looked into my eyes as if searching for any sign of hesitation—but I bet he couldn’t find any, because there wasn’t any. I wanted him, and it was a 

truth carved in stone. 

Therapy has been helpful, yes… but it’s Kaiden that I need, for going back to be the old, strong Lucy again. 

It took me two months to realize that. But not anymore. Not now. 

เค 

10:07 Sun 8 Jun 

Chapter 124 

“Are you sure?” he asked gently. 

“I’d bet my soul on it,” I replied. 

To be continued… 

孩 

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