Chapter 56
Silvy
6
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I have been thinking hard since I talked with my dad just like he suggested I do. Hell, mine and Goof’s, whatever you want to call it, is all I have been thinking about. Every waking second I think about it. About us. When I wake up in Goof’s arms I think about us. When our baby moves I think about us. When he picks me up from work I think about us. When I saw Meathead lurking in the corners of the ER I thought about Goof. Why? Because he was the one who put Meathead on me for extra protection. While we are curled up on the couch, my head on his shoulder, his arm around me I am thinking about us.
I think about how good it feels to wake up in Goof’s arms every morning and I would hate to lose that feeling. I think about us laughing over dinner while Goof tells me another story from the clubhouse. I don’t want the laughter to stop. I think about the way we seem to have to touch each other while we are cooking together. A hand brush here, a quick kiss there. I think about how much I enjoy it. When I think about it ending I get sick to my stomach. I think about when Goof lays his head on my stomach to talk to the baby while I run my fingers through his hair. All those sweet moments run through my head like a movie.
like it
I even remember all our little fights. Like when I found out Goof had Meathead follow me at work. We fought about it. I didn’t like it. Goof said it was for safety. I caved. Or the stupid fight we had over whether to buy whole milk or two percent. Or the one we had when he would let me drive home from my late–night shifts alone anymore. Either he or Meathead had to drive me home. Or where to put the crib in the nursery. Should it be near the window or not? All of our fights, if you could call them that, weren’t shit. Petty, but annoying. And I’m sure normal for couples. I don’t want to lose those either. As odd as that may sound.
And the sex. Oh, my heaven the sex. I don’t even know where to begin with that. I don’t want to lose that. Or Goof in general. His laugh, his smile, the way he cares for me, the way he smells just getting out of the shower. The way he pretends to be pissed when I steal something from his plate. The way he will cut peppers away from me is because they make me nauseous. And all the little things he does. Like how he knows I like a hot shower after a shift and had it running when I came home. Or my favorite creamer. Or favorite cookies. Goof brought home flowers the other day. He told me he saw them and decided I had to have them. Who does that? Goof does.
He started out as my best friend but somewhere he became so much more. When I looked deep inside myself and let all the bullshit go I found something truly amazing. I found out that I was in love with Goof. I am in love with him. The man has systematically broken through every wall I put in place to keep him out. I don’t even know when he did it so I could stop him. The questions that need to be answered is do I tell him? Can I let go of my fear? How do I tell him? How do I begin to start that conversation? Then there is how does he feel about me? I know he likes me but does he love me? Or is he just in this for the baby? My mind is racing with what if’s and worst–case scenarios.
Florence is a passionate reader who finds joy in long drives on rainy days. She’s also a fan of Italian makeup tutorials, blending beauty and elegance into her everyday life.
