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CHAPTER 0149
Alaric’s POV:
My gaze narrowed at the edges. “Is that a serious question?”
That was not a question I thought my mother would ever ask. She disliked Meadow, maybe even hated her. And she was the one person I thought would be the happiest about her leaving.
But now she was asking me why I let her leave?
Was this a damn dream?
“Does it sound like I’m joking?” she scoffed. “Why the hell did you let her leave if you love her?”
My eyes narrowed even further. This was completely out of character for her.
I shook my head, walking over to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of water. “Does it matter?” I muttered. “We’re not together anymore. You should be happy about that, not asking why I let her leave.”
“Look.” Mutti sighed, and when I turned around to face her, her hands were on her hips. “I know I
may have given you the impression that I didn’t like her—”
“Impression?” Now it was my time to scoff. “I think you made it really fucking clear that you didn’t
like her. I had to warn you severally to stop treating her like she was some-”
“I know!” she cut in, and the look in her eyes turned helpless. “I know how I treated her. But I also know how you felt about her. I know you loved her. And I’m ashamed to admit that I was only jealous
of her.”
I slammed the bottle down onto the counter as a shiver ran through me. My brows drew together in
confusion.
“Jealous? About what, Mutti?”
Why on earth would my mother be jealous of Meadow?
Mutti’s eyes watered and she started to step closer to me, her eyes dropping down to my hand again. And… all of a sudden, I understood–even before she told me.
She took my hand in her shaky ones. “She touches you…” she whispered. “She touches you and you can feel her. Meanwhile you haven’t been able to feel your mother’s touch in nearly ten years.” She sniffed, raising her other hand to my cheek. “Alaric, that breaks my heart, you have no idea.”
“But that doesn’t make any sense. You like Clarissa. And last I checked, I could feel her too.”
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“Mm mm.” Ingrid hummed, shaking her head. “With Clarissa, it’s different. Safer. Easier to adjust to. But with Meadow, it’s… Gott…”
(Gott meaning ‘God‘) “I knew from the first day I saw you with her that you loved her-“9
“Stop-”
“And I wanted that for you, but I… I couldn’t just-”
“Mutti-”
“I know who she is, Mein Herz!” she snapped all of a sudden. I froze, feeling my eyes widen slightly. My mother paid no mind to the expression on my face. “I know who she is. I’ve known all along. Meadow Russell. Did you really think you could hide something like that from your own mother?” She stepped closer to me. “Nothing is hidden from me. Nothing.”
The intense expression on her face told me much more than I needed to know. And when the first tear dropped, the realization dawned on me.
She knew. She knew everything.
Everything. Even the things I hadn’t told Meadow. The things I couldn’t tell her. My mother knew it
all.
And she never mentioned it to me.
My chest tightened.
“How could you fall in love with the woman whose father you put in prison?” she whispered. “How could you let her fall in love with you? I tried… I tried to get her to leave you, and I’m admitting it right now because I know there is nothing you can do to me. You let your guard down around her, but not me. Not your own mother but Meadow Russell. Clint Russell’s daughter. Do you have any idea how messed up that is?”
“Our marriage was fake,” I muttered. “It wasn’t real, Mutti. Whatever you saw wasn’t real.”
For the first time since she got here, Mutti seemed surprised. I caught her off guard. She didn’t say anything at first, and then she reached for a bag that I hadn’t really made much attention to until
now.
“You must be hungry,” she murmured, pulling out a couple of tupperwares. “I brought you some food to eat. All you need to do is warm it up in the
“I’m not hungry,” I gritted out, pinching the bridge of my nose.
“Well, then you have to tell me what I can do because I don’t know what else to do, Alaric!” She snapped all of a sudden, her eyes wide as she looked at me. “Look at you! You’re a complete mess. No
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one has seen you in weeks. Not even your own brother. And I’m sure your employees barely ever see you.”
“I don’t fucking need anyone to see me, Mutti.”
Just her.
“Fuck!” I cursed, running a hand through my hair. My eyes began to burn and I slammed my wrapped fists hard against the counter, leaning forward so my head was hanging between my shoulders. “Fuck, Mutti, I can’t deal with this. I can’t… I can’t lose her.”
Something wet dropped on the surface of the counter, and I realized with a shock that it was a tear drop.
And it came from me. From my eyes. I couldn’t remember the last time I cried–hell, I wasn’t even sure if I had ever cried about anything. But right now, as I wiped my thumb over my eyes and stared at the wetness, it hit me deep.
My jaw clenched as my mother walked around the counter again to meet me. “Come here.” I let her wrap her arms around me, let her run her hand through my hair.
And somehow… somehow I felt her. I felt my mother’s hand in my hair, I felt her arms around my
back, her hair rubbing against my chest.
I felt it all.
“I’d forgotten how soft your hands were, Mutti,” I choked out.
My mother froze. I knew the exact moment her breathing stopped. “What?” Her voice was so light, I almost didn’t catch it even though she was quite literally close to my ear.
When I didn’t say anything in response, she pulled back to look at me, moving her hands from my shoulders to my cheeks. My eyes fell shut before I could even control them.
I hadn’t felt my mother in years.
And now, all of a sudden… I fucking did.
How on earth was I supposed to explain that to anyone? “Mein Herz… you can feel me?” she asked softly as her thumbs glided back and forth on my skin. “You can… Oh my god.” She broke down in tears, shaking her head.
This time, I was the one consoling her. My mother fell into my arms, and I could console her properly without hating myself.
My mother knew everything that had happened.
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Everything. And all this while, she kept quiet. Didn’t say a word. And all I did for her in return was
shut her out.
I didn’t know how to feel about that.
My mother stayed with me for a long time, making sure I ate something, treating me like her goddamn baby. I hadn’t allowed myself to feel this loose in a long fucking time.
“You need to tell her, Alaric,” she murmured after a long moment of silence. “You need to find her and tell her everything-”
“I can’t, Mutti.”
She frowned at me. “Well, if you don’t, I will.”
“It is not your story to tell!” I growled, clenching my fists at my side.
“Why are you so bent on losing her?”
“I’m not. I fucking love her—”
“Do you?” she scoffed. “If you loved her, you would tell her. I’m sure… I’m sure she’d understand because she loves you too. It doesn’t matter whether your marriage was fake or not. You both love each other–and that’s the only thing that should matter.”
My jaw ticked.
“Alaric, you spent the most of your childhood and teenagehood protecting Nolan and I, you sacrificed everything to give us a good life, and I’ll be damned before I deny you your own happy ending. Before I let you ruin something good.”
Her nostrils flared and she shook her head like she couldn’t believe what she was saying.
“Look what happens when you lower your guard. You feel. And if you keep this from her, it’s not going to remain this way forever. You’ll be bottling it all up all over again. Is that what you want?”
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CHAPTER 0150
Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.
Summary & Review: Fallen
