Chapter 145
I sat down at the table with Alana and Maizie in the corner by the window. There was no snow here, but the air was definitely chilly and seeping in through the window. However, I barely felt it. I felt numb inside. How could I have been so Stupid to believe that I was anything special? I was nothing but weak human, who had been bound for no reason. That partial shift had been, I don’t know, self–defense, and that voice I had heard, I had just imagined it. I had just imagined all of it. My brain’s way to cope or some stupid shit like that. That’s all it seemed like anyway. No amount of begging would change that either.
Alana and Maizie were both kind and didn’t bring up that anything was amiss. They both kept trying to include me in the conversation even though I kept zoning out, but I appreciated their effort. I had never really had this before. I had never had anyone who really cared that I was down or in today’s case, wallowing in self–pity. I would have been called every name in the book at my old pack, but they didn’t miss a beat. Instead, they talked about when I wanted to have my wedding, and what kind of dress did I want, and tell me all about the proposal. And when I didn’t give much, they gushed about what they thought I would look good in and shared their own ideas about the things. I appreciated them pretending that nothing was wrong, and grateful that they didn’t press it.
I nodded along and occasionally gave my opinion, but when the dining room started to clear out, I didn’t know what I was supposed to do and felt frozen. I couldn’t go back to my room and face Rhys again.
“Come on,” Alana smiled gently, looping her arm through mine. “Let’s go watch
a
movie.”
I followed Alana and Maizie to Alana’s room and plopped onto her bed. Maizie and I both hadn’t seen very many movies, so we deferred to Alana about what to watch. I guess it wasn’t totally just me in the pack that had been isolated, but I had just been more isolated than the others.
The first movie was a romcom that I wouldn’t say I liked, but I hadn’t felt was believable either. They had fallen in love a little too quickly for my taste, but to each their own. We then watched a werewolf film made by humans, which Alana critiqued the whole time, saying that 90% of the movie was just simply not true.
By the third movie, I could barely keep my eyes open and didn’t make it through the opening credits. The bed was just so comfy, and to be surrounded by two people I considered to be friends, I felt safe.
It was light the next time I woke up, and I probably would have slept longer, except there was an incessant pounding on the door. Alana rolled out of bed with a groan and headed toward the door.
“Yes?” Alana asked sleepily.
“Is my mate in there?!” A voice demanded, laced in worry.
I peeped my eyes open, the voice was familiar, but I really didn’t want to get up.
“Oh!” Alana gasped, suddenly fully awake. “Uh yea, we fell asleep watching a movie last night.”
The person brushed past Alana and crouched down in front of me. My eyes refused to focus on him, but his scent filled my nose, and his hand grazed my cheek.
“Gracie?” He purred.
“No.” I told him closing my eyes again.
“No?” I could feel the hurt flood our bond, but I didn’t want to feel it, so I shut it off.
1/2
“Not ready.” I told him, refusing to open my eyes again.
“Gracie… It’s 10 am…”
No.”
“Can I at least take you to our bed?” He asked.
I gave a non–committal noise, but he took it as a he wins and scooped me up into his arms off to somewhere I didn’t know. And honestly, the truth was that I didn’t care. He could have dropped me off into a volcano and I wouldn’t have cared. Being melted alive by lava seemed niore appealing than being a fake Lycan, which is what I was.
I was gently set on something soft, and it took me while to realize it was my bed. Rhys was kind and gently wrapped me up in the blankets, so I was basically in a cocoon before laying down on the other side of me.
“You’re staying?” I asked in surprise as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in close to him.
“For as long as you need me.” He answered, and I let myself drift off to dreamland again.
The next time I woke up, I was sweaty from being wrapped up in all the blankets and Rhys, but he was sound asleep beside me, and I really couldn’t get myself to care how I felt. Everything felt surreal. I didn’t belong in bed with the Alpha King. I didn’t belong anywhere. I was nothing. So, I let myself drift off again.
The next time I woke up, I didn’t feel quite as tired, but I also couldn’t fathom getting up even though I had to pee. I could hear Rhys typing away from the other side of me, but I kept my back to him. I knew he probably sensed I was awake, but he didn’t say anything, which I was grateful for. I just stared at the wall, letting my mind fade to nothingness again.
I waited as long as I could, but I eventually got up to pee. Rhys eyes never left me as I walked across the room and shut the bathroom door, but to my relief he didn’t say anything. When I was done, I made my way back to the bed, crawling back under the blankets, much to Rhys‘ disbelief, sinking back into the nothingness, hoping to stay there for a while
longer.
Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.
