Worst Fear 134

Posted by Sara Lili, ? Views, Released on August 30, 2025

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Chapter 134

Lydia

Where was that coming from? One minute, he was talking about going away, and the next, it was about his feelings for me.

It didn’t need to make sense.

It was hard not to pull my hand from under his. Yes, I know about how he felt for me; he’d said that multiple times, and I’ve

also made him understand that I do not see him that way.

“Are you perhaps leaving because of me?” I asked, unable to stomach the thought that I might be the biggest factor in this

decision.

He shook his head and squeezed my hands before trailing his thumb across mine. “You are not. Just like I said before, this is all me, and it has nothing to do with you or anyone else,” he said in his usual voice, but calmer this time, more steady.

“Lindeed came to this place because of you, and I have been trying to win your heart.” he lifted his eyes to mine, then

moved them away and drew in a slow breath before he continued.

“It is also true that I fell in love with your children and think of them as mine. I may be leaving, and they may not be my real children, and they have found their biological father… but in my heart, they will always be mine.” He spoke quickly,

and then the pace changed again, “Okay?”

I didn’t know where this was heading. He was leaving, and now he was confessing his feelings for me all over again. Where was this going? I pressed my lips together to keep myself from speaking when I saw that he was about to continue.

“Mason is a good guy. He’s not as evil as I thought. After speaking with Zoe, I realised that whatever happened between you and him was a big misunderstanding.

“As much as I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, I do not want to be the division that keeps you from who you want to be with. I am not stupid. Anytime you look at him, I know you want him as much as he wants you. And I am not going to stand between the two of you.”

“It is because of this that-” he let go of my hands and leaned back into his chair. Warm glow cascaded from the ceiling, and for the first time since I had known him, his eyes, always bright, were trying to hold back tears. His gaze was raw; this look came from holding back for a long time.

It is because of this that I am letting you go… or more correctly, I am letting myself be free.” Each word was calmer than

the other.

4 swallowed, my chest tightening as I watched him speak. I never thought Marcus’s love for me was this serious, I’d always thought his feelings were just something that would pass with time, but it seems I have never been more wrong.

“I’m sorry I murmured, my heart crashing against my chest. Which pain is worse, the pain of loving someone, or the pain of being loved by someone you can’t love back?

He shook his head. “No, no. You do not have to be. It’s not something you have to be sorry for. What I feel for you, is all me. And even if it didn’t work out the way I wanted, I do not regret giving you my heart”

He held my eyes and smiled slightly, “Lydia, you are a good woman, and although I have decided to step back, it doesn’t

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Chapter 134

mean I’ve stopped loving you. If it doesn’t work out with Mason, if he as much as treats you badly, if you go back to him and realise it’s not what you want, always remember this: I will always be there. You will always have a home with me.”

Tears pricked my eyes. Aside from my mom, I had Marcus. But it seems I’ve just lost him.

“I’ll be leaving in a week, and I think it’s best to tell you now. I don’t know about seeing the twins, because if I do, I may not be able to leave anymore. Please extend my regards to them. And I hope Mason keeps his word and treats them as he promised he would.”

“Why do you keep talking about Mason? I never told you I wanted him back or that I’m going back to him. Granted, I’ve forgiven him and I now know the truth about what truly happened between us, but that doesn’t mean I want him in my life. I don’t even know what I want from him yet, or if he’ll even be in my life. And I don’t think there’s enough reason to lose you. You don’t have to leave. You can see the kids, they won’t be happy if you go without saying goodbye.”

Nothing I said was enough to change Marcus’s mind. It seemed he had already made his decision before he called me.

From the look of things, he didn’t even want to keep in contact with me. I couldn’t blame him, if this is what he wants,

then I’ll respect it.

After Marcus left, I decided to take a walk around the busy area. It was still filled with people, some selling, others buying.

I decided to enjoy the moment instead of going home. I wanted to be alone, it was the reason I refused his offer to take me

back home.

My heart still felt heavy, but I refused to let it weigh me down. Marcus was still around for a few more days, we could meet up a few times before he left. I didn’t need to start mourning his departure just yet.

I walked into the crowd, stopping at different shops to get things. I got to a stall where they sold tteokbokki, a Korean snack. I requested a spicy plate and stood in front of the stall waiting for the man to give me my portion.

I first had this with Marcus during our trip to South Korea. Marcus was a foodie; it was one of the many sides of him I discovered during our time together. He loves spicy food, and I had been so scared to try it and had spat out my first bite,

unable to stomach how spicy it was.

A plate of tteokbokki was placed in front of me. I thanked the man and paid. “Can I sit under here?” I asked since no one else was seated under the umbrella shade the man provided.

That was when I noticed that I was the only one in the stall, which explains why he had such a big smile plastered on his face, Just as I sat, three other customers came, it seems I was his first, and two ended up sitting under the same shade.

“You should try it, it’s not as spicy as you think.” It was as though I heard Marcus’s voice behind me. “Go girl, you’ve got this.” A business trip turned into our own private time away from work, and we enjoyed it to the fullest.

Pretending as though he was behind me gave me the courage to place the first bite in my mouth. I chewed slowly, and the sweet and spicy taste spread over my mouth. It was almost unbearable for me, but I didn’t stop. I still pretended that he was there, with me.

Friends mean a lot to me because I never had them growing up. At the orphanage I grew up in, it was a ground for the survival of the fittest, and although I made two friends, it never lasted. One died, and I lost contact with the other.

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Chapter 134

Marcus was the first real friend I got after Mason, and just like the others, he would now be part of my memory.

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My vision turned blurry, and I could no longer hold the tears. I pushed the plate of tteokbokki forward and rested my head on the table. My shoulder shook as I cried, grieving the loss of a part of me.

Maybe this was for the best. I am not so selfish as to insist he stays in my life when I know he couldn’t. I, too, had to let him go. Since I couldn’t love him, I could only pray that he finds someone he loves and that person would not be like me. That person would be able to give him all the love he gives out.

I stood abruptly, I needed to leave. My phone fell as I hurried out, I gritted my teeth, wiping my eyes with the back of my palm as I picked it up.

I bumped into someone immediately I turned, something cold spread over my chest, staining the white clothes I wore. I missed my step as I tried to steady myself and began to fall backwards.

A firm hand wrapped around my waist and steadied me, stopping the act of humiliation I was about to rain down on myself.

“Thank yo-” I began lifting my gaze, but my words stuck to my throat when I saw his face.

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Sara Lili

Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.

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Worst Fear

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Status: Ongoing Type: Alpha Native Language: English

Worst Fear Synopsis : Worst Fear

Lydia’s world was already a crumbling ruin long before she collapsed on the cold, bleach-slick tiles of Westgate Prison. She had been serving her sentence with quiet endurance, forcing herself to survive each monotonous day. Cleaning floors, enduring the harsh routine, and trying to numb her thoughts had become her way of life. But as she gripped the mop handle, her body betrayed her — dizziness washed over her, and before she could steady herself, the world went black.

When she regained consciousness, Lydia found herself lying on a thin mattress in the prison hospital. The sterile smell of disinfectant filled her lungs, and her head ached violently. A familiar figure stood by her bedside — Nurse Gloria, a kind-hearted woman often whispered about by the inmates for her compassion. Lydia had never personally interacted with her before; she preferred keeping her distance from everyone. But this time, she had no choice.

Gloria spoke softly, her voice calm and motherly. “You fainted during your shift,” she explained. Lydia, groggy and disoriented, nodded faintly. Fainting wasn’t unusual for prisoners — malnutrition, exhaustion, and stress were daily realities in Westgate. But Gloria’s next words didn’t fit the routine explanation. She leaned in, her tone serious and almost secretive. “I ran some tests to see why you collapsed.”

Lydia’s brows furrowed. Tests? The nurse’s expression made her heart race. Something was wrong. And then Gloria said it — words that hit Lydia like a lightning strike.

“You’re three months pregnant.”

For a moment, Lydia’s world went silent. The walls, the lights, the nurse — everything faded into a blur of disbelief. Pregnant? That couldn’t be right. Her throat went dry as she tried to process the impossible. Three months. Her hands instinctively flew to her stomach, pressing against the rough fabric of her prison uniform. There was nothing — no bump, no sign of life — yet Gloria’s certainty left no room for denial.

Lydia’s first reaction was refusal. “No,” she whispered. Her voice trembled. “That can’t be right.” But Gloria simply nodded, her expression heavy with empathy. “It’s right, Lydia. I double-checked the results myself.”

The truth settled like a stone in Lydia’s gut. The symptoms she’d ignored — the morning dizziness, the fevers, the missed periods — suddenly made sense. Deep down, she knew this was no mistake. Panic clawed at her chest as she realized what this meant. Her past — the one she’d buried so carefully since the day she was arrested — came rushing back. The man she had loved, the night she had tried to forget, the betrayal that had shattered her life.

Tears burned in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall in front of Gloria. She couldn’t afford weakness here. Her voice was barely a whisper when she pleaded, “Please… you can’t tell anyone. No one can know about this.”

Gloria studied her for a long moment. Lydia could see the internal conflict behind the nurse’s eyes — between her duty to report and her compassion for the broken woman before her. Finally, Gloria sighed softly and nodded. “I won’t say a word,” she promised. Relief washed over Lydia like a wave, but it was fleeting. Gloria wasn’t finished. “But you have to promise me something too. You’ll come back for regular checkups. No skipping, no excuses. You and the baby need to be monitored. Do you understand?”

Lydia nodded mutely, emotion choking her voice. She didn’t trust herself to speak. The nurse gave her hand a gentle squeeze before stepping away to inform the guards that Lydia needed rest.

The walk back to her cell felt endless. Two guards flanked her on either side, but she barely noticed them. Her mind was spinning, replaying Gloria’s words over and over — three months pregnant. Each repetition felt like a hammer blow. She stumbled into her cell, collapsing onto the thin, creaky cot. The metal door slammed shut behind her, sealing her inside with the suffocating truth.

She stared at the ceiling for a long time before curling up on her side. Her trembling hands hovered over her stomach, fear twisting in her chest. She could barely keep herself alive in this place — how could she protect an unborn child? Westgate wasn’t meant for fragile things. It was a graveyard of hope, a place that crushed even the strongest spirits. What kind of life could she possibly give her baby behind these bars?

The tears she had fought earlier now spilled freely, sliding down her cheeks as silent sobs wracked her body. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself, as if she could shield the tiny life inside her from the cruelty of the world beyond her cell walls.

For the first time in years, Lydia prayed. Not for freedom, not for revenge — just for strength. For the chance to protect this unexpected child growing inside her.

As she turned her hand, the faint glint of her wedding band caught her eye. The ring mocked her, its shine a cruel reminder of the life she had lost. Three months ago, everything had been perfect — or so she thought. Her marriage had felt like a fairy tale. Even though her in-laws despised her, she had still believed love could conquer everything. Her husband had been her safe haven, her anchor.

Until the night everything fell apart.

The memory was sharp and unforgiving — flashing lights, police sirens, his face twisted in disgust as she was dragged away in handcuffs. The betrayal in his eyes had hurt worse than the accusation itself. That image haunted her still, burned into her mind like a scar that would never fade.

Now, lying in that cold, dim cell, Lydia finally understood how deep her despair ran. The baby inside her was both a curse and a fragile glimmer of hope. A connection to the man she once loved — and the life she could never return to.

As exhaustion finally claimed her, her last thoughts were of him — the man she’d once trusted more than anyone. His expression, full of hatred and disbelief, was the last thing she saw before the darkness took her again.

And for the first time, Lydia realized she wasn’t just a prisoner anymore. She was a mother — trapped in a place where love and life were luxuries no one could afford. But no matter what, she silently vowed: she would find a way to protect her baby, even if it meant fighting the entire world from behind these bars.